Addiction Without a Cure...

I hate Halloween! What an introduction...there are just way too many idiots out and about. Maybe if people knew how to drive and walk around on the streets at night, it wouldn't be so bad, but they dont, so hence therefore why I hate halloween.

In the past, I have always been a people pleaser. I've always wanted to make people happy. Whether it was at school by being the class clown or in a relationship of mine by doing whatever it took to make that person at the time happy. In my relationships I've done everything from changing the way I look, dress, and act, to actually getting rid of friends. Not just acquaintances, but I'm talking my best friends. I ditched them like I never knew them. Well as of now I'm done with all of that. I'm done trying to impress people or make a good impression so that they will stay with me or want to be with me. Starting right now I'm just going to be myself. In a relationship, both parties are supposed to be happy, not just one. And I have rarely been happy cause I was always constantly worrying whether or not I was making them happy.

Right now I have two friends...the BEST of best friends. I love them dearly and I'm not going to be shutting them out of my life no matter what or who comes along. As for the "one" and yes you know who you are, I do love you, and what you've seen of me, is the real me. Its not a act, I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. What you've seen is what you would get, and I know that you like who I am. And just for a side note, I want you to know that umm...I'm addicted to you and am in constant "aww" by you.

My new anthem for my life is a song by 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill. Basically about a guy who tried to be someone he wasnt to make his girl happy. He started being himself and she left and he doesnt care because he's happy now that he is himself. My man, you have it right. No matter how pretty a girl is, (or guy for you girls reading this) why sacrifice being yourself. You are never going to be happy.

Anywho...my feelings were hurt deeply today. After school all the kids walked around the square to visit all the local businesses and get candy in their costumes. I got to watch a few minutes of it, but I had to work through most of it. I did however see a little girl that I knew and I went to give her a hug and she looked at me like I was a stranger...sniffle. This was a little girl that used to be in love with me, I dont know if she forgot me or just didnt want to give me a hug. But either way it kinda hurt my feelings.

Well tonight I'm dedicating a couple of songs to that special someone....kiss kiss.

Rascal Flatts - Waiting All My Life
Alan Jackson - She Dont Know She's Beautiful

and of course cant forget the greatest love song ever

Firehouse - When I Look Into Your Eyes

Adios to all hope November is great for everyone....mmm mmmm Turkey and Ham I cant wait for you!