meaning...

I’ve started to wonder what the meaning of life is. I am almost sick of it. I’m not going to kill myself or anything that rational, but I’m sick of being here. The only thing life holds is pain. No matter what it is, everything ends with pain. And in the end, no matter what, no matter who you are, you die alone. I’m just tired of the pain that this life carries with it. Its unfair, I didn’t choose this, it was against my will. I’m sick and tired of people telling me that I’m only 21. I know, I live in my body, I know how freaking old I am. Life gets better they say, your young, happiness will come…blah blah. You’ll find someone so special and your whole life will turn around. These are the people I just want to ball my fist up and break their nose and tell them to keep their wonderfully cheerful happy happy joy joy crap to themselves. True love - soul mates…they don’t exist. Wake up people. There is no such thing as the one true love. Forget everything I’ve ever said in the past of my entire blog. I don’t even know if “love” can truly exist between two people anymore. I think it’s a waste of time to love someone, cause like I said in the end, the only thing that really happens is you turn out to be alone. You waste your time and energy loving someone and then you either split or one of you will die. The only thing you get from either situation is heartache. Is it worth…some of you I’m sure say yes, but in reality…no. The only thing heartache does is put you in a depressed state that nobody likes to be in, unless of course you are a hypochondriac. I believe John Mayer said it best when he wrote the song Gravity…”gravity is working against me, and gravity wants to bring me down” Thank you John, always there to help me with my thoughts.

So what to do?…truthfully, I don’t have an honest answer as to what you should do. I know what I’m going to do though. I can say that as of this day I’m going to stop looking for my potential “wife” and just have fun. I will never, and I mean never tell a girl that I love them again, no matter how bad they may want to hear it from me. Maybe…just maybe I might give them the satisfaction of hearing the word “ditto” as Patrick Swayze did on the movie Ghost. But I don’t think I can bring myself to use those three words anymore. People these days just don’t realize how deep those three HUGE words can go. They just throw them out there like they are nothing. Bachelor life is the way to go. My best friend tells me I’m too good of a guy to deprive that girl that is looking for me out there of me, but I’m sick of the way I get treated. So I’m the only commitment that I’m making is to be a bachelor…Now I’m no George Clooney, but I think he really has something here, never getting married. It’s cheaper, you don’t have to worry about anything. You don’t have to ask for permission to do anything. Cant be accused of cheating and you cant be cheated on. Its great.

Well I might elaborate more on some of my new thoughts, but its lunch time and I’m hungry so I’m going to go for now. Adios.