Introducing...

Well I had a talk with a friend the other night...let us just say it went well...ended with some making out and almost censored material which we wont talk about because thats not what I care to write about here. In this talk I began to realize a few things about myself that I never really cared to notice. But before we even go into that let us continue on with the next day. I'm on the phone with a friend of mine who is a psychologist..."very" close friend. She doenst really like talking to me as anything more then a friend cause once I have her analyze me our friendship is mixed in with her business life and in that line of work....well it just doesnt mix. But we had a huge discussion....mainly about stuff like dating, marriage, sex...that stuff. And well in a round about way she helped me analyze myself a little deeper without even trying. We both have pretty much come to the conclusion that I, Christopher, am a great actor. I have faked a lot of things in my life mostly about myself. I have faked sympathy and empathy for other people. I have faked feelings for certain people that I thought I cared about. Most recently being my Ex. I faked an entire life style just to be with the girl. In the end I ask myself why and I dont really know. Physical attraction I guess, but even that...I wasnt 100% attracted to her. Her sister was more my personallity...ha. But...my friend thinks that I might have a chemical imbalance and thats maybe why I am the way I am.

Anyway...I look back and I cant really think of a relationship that I actually cared 100% about. There is one that I do actually miss but I think thats just because we had a good physical connection. People look at me and they say that I'm sweet, kind, caring...tell you the truth I actually fake that crap. I dont care about most people. There are a select few. If I had my way I would be a ruthless dictator. "lovin' every minute of it" So needless to say I'm a prick....and uhh....I dont apologize for that.

HA...now back to the conversation with my first friend that I started this thing out with....we came to the conclusion that when I turn 25, if she isnt married yet, we are going to get married. Now thats all fine and good, but uh...I dont plan on getting married. We can live together, have babies but no piece of paper is going to be holding me to a girl, sorry.

Oh joys...I'm getting ready to start working. Pretty excited...mainly cause I have a few things that I'm looking forward to buying...muahahaha. I've been looking at motorcycles and I have one picked out that I really really like. Ok actually two, one is a Harley and the other is a Ducati. So sweet and sexy. OK well anyway, I'm off for now, gotta go take the medication and hit the sack. Adios.